Day 12
Stuck
Wake up, work, and go to sleep. It’s all I ever do. I’m sitting here staring at myself in the mirror and don’t recognize the person I see.
“You ok hun? You’re going to be late for work.” Her voice is a refreshing breeze in the heavy fog I am in.
“Yeah, I’m good, just brushing my teeth.” It’s a lie, but she doesn’t need to be weighed down by my crap.
The morning blurred in auto pilot as I drove into the office. I gave her a kiss right? I always give her a goodbye kiss when I head out of the house. I’m sure I did.
“Good morning Tom.” Stacey is a nice lady, she’s got three kids in highschool.
“Good morning Stace, how are the boys?” From what I know, they are good kids.
“They are good, the normal wrestle in the morning to get them up!” She laughs with joy. “How about you? Are you and the wife looking at getting a family going?”
“Ha, yeah, we have the wedding behind us so that’s next.” It’s true, but at this rate, I’ll be forty when I have a kid. Damn money.
“They are pains in the ass, but they are worth it.”
I leave stacy as I head to my desk, the same desk I have been at for the past three years. I stare at the mountain of work that continuously piles on. I tell myself I am going to stop taking on so much extra work and projects, but I won’t…it’s what I do. It will pay off one day. I sit and think about the positions that have come and gone before…It has to pay off. I force my brain to not dwell on my situation. I reassure myself I am not stuck, but I feel my words are beginning to ring hollow.
“Hey Tom, I figured you’d read this in the morning. I won’t be in and was wondering if you could run my reports for me.” I read the email and know that I shouldn’t do the job. I am not his back up, I’m not even in the same section as him. But, there is a chance it will lead to growth. So, I do it anyway. “Sure Jim, I’ll get those reports done this morning. Feel better!” I didn’t want to type the words.
“You stuck?” A familiar voice enters my cubicle.
“Nope, just re checking my numbers.” Am I stuck?
“Let’s go get some lunch.” Chuck’s smile is a welcomed break from my work.
“I can use the walk.” He’s been a good friend for a few years now.
We walk and talk about the football game from last night. I have never hung out with him outside of work, but I have meant to ask him to grab a beer. One day, maybe…probably not.
“Can I ask you something?” We both take a seat in the crowded cafeteria.
“Shoot.”
“Do you ever feel stuck?” I instantly regret acknowledging the feeling I have of my life.
“All the damn time man.” He notices I am staring at him. “I think everyone does. It’s kind of like our wiring to always want more or better.” He bites into his grinder. “Shit, you think I want to be a ‘data analyst’ for another year?” His air quotes bring a smile to my face.
“I get all that, but, I mean we just don’t have enough money to do what we want…Just feels like I’m in a rut and no matter how hard I work I’m not getting out.”
“First, there will never be enough money. Second, yes, you do a lot, but you’ve got to keep your head up. Your name is on a lot of people’s mouths, just a matter of time.”
A matter of time…I hate that saying.
“You’re not stuck.” He smirks as he puts his food down. “Take five small seconds and think of all the shit in your life that you have, that you didn’t even a year ago. I can guarantee it’s a lot.”
“Huh, you know, you might have a point.”
“Of course I have a point!” He laughs deeply. “Shit, if you’re stuck then I’m dead!”
“Okay…okay, you have a point. My life is way better than yours.” We both laugh at my joke. “Thanks man, I needed this.” Maybe I’m not stuck. I should talk to Rose when I get home.
“You finish Bill’s reports yet?”
“Sadly, that dude is-”
“The worst?” Chuck finishes my sentence with a big laugh.
“He’s the damn worst.”
Kris Writes Worlds 
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